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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I went down stairs to binge watch South Park when I heard a loud thud from up stairs and thought it was robbers.

19 upvotes • Master_Clock1228
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"Alright, I shall grant you your wish for wealth unimagined, but I'm making your penis only One (1) Inch." NSFW

19 upvotes • IronMongerVi
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[deleted by user]

19 upvotes • [deleted]
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The officer pointed at the red sign and asked why I failed to stop at the intersection.

19 upvotes • Sechs_of_Zalem
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My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep.

19 upvotes • iamsobasic
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I met a very spontaneous girl on tinder!

19 upvotes • [deleted]
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“Six, seven, eight, nine…,” counted the OBGYN as he handed baby after baby to the bewildered husband.

19 upvotes • cindybubbles
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My Halloween costume is going to send everyone fleeing in terror

19 upvotes • SliceLegitimate8674
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“Oh, honey, your father’s not having a temper tantrum!” assured the mother.

19 upvotes • cindybubbles
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"I wish to be the ugliest girl in the world," she said to the genie.

19 upvotes • Mobile-Constant3167
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