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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I've been working out a lot.

197 upvotes • nazefied
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The cult meeting began with the ritualistic music

197 upvotes • butterbuttbut
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I just found out that my former high school teacher has an OnlyFans account! NSFW

197 upvotes • cindybubbles
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I try to avoid the 'us vs them' mentality most people have, that so often leads to hate and conflict.

197 upvotes • copenhagen_bram
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Being the responsible employer that I am during this coronavirus outbreak, all of my staff are on quarantine.

196 upvotes • willcall100
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"all the teachers bully me at school,Mom."

196 upvotes • GrandDukeZanggara
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If at first you don't succeed.

196 upvotes • talbottripp
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I was talking to a guy the other day who said he had a half sister. NSFW

195 upvotes • S2Charlie
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I Tried Changing My Password To 'BeefStew'

195 upvotes • ClutchingMyTinkle
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"Nice boner you got there" she said.

195 upvotes • Longjumping_Zebra_23
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