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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I’ll never forget the time I slapped Dwayne Johnson’s ass

123 upvotes • I-was-the-guy-1-time
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I thrusted harder and harder enjoying every second of it. NSFW

123 upvotes • jayblur13
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He swore he could touch the alligator and leap away unscathed.

123 upvotes • [deleted]
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Her: "Don't, he's too young for the foul language and violence!"

123 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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My friend got stabbed in the heart and died.

122 upvotes • BeingAcidwithYOU45
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I looked at my test with disappointment because I got a B+

122 upvotes • definitely_normal_
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During the airplane ride to where they were casting for a production of The Prisoner of Azkaban, my agent kept trying to dissuade me from auditioning for the role of Harry's godfather because I was female.

122 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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"Didn't see you in camouflage practice today, Smith!"

122 upvotes • lydocia
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I only need one. Wait-

122 upvotes • spipidipoopidoo
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what are you doing, stepBro?

121 upvotes • wondererSkull
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