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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I came home with the name tag for our new calico cat and couldn’t understand why my partner was laughing so hard

111 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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I was lactose intolerant as a child and allergic to gluten as a teen.

111 upvotes • cindybubbles
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I asked my crush out today.

111 upvotes • DamagedJefff
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As my beloved sick father smiled at me I made one last joke to make him laugh

111 upvotes • kaijisheeran
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I'm all for equal rights and gay marriage.

111 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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I'll end today with a direct quote from Carl in the walking dead.

111 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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What did the naughty boy do with his big sister’s diary?

111 upvotes • FireProps
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Sometimes I feel like a nut.

110 upvotes • Master_Keyhan
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Spectral faces with ghoulish expressions appeared before me... NSFW

110 upvotes • dumbo_octopus1995
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From the hollow depths of his hood Death intoned, "I am not here for you."

110 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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