/u/derf_vader's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

"Congratulations Mrs. Nash, it's a... puppy?

105 upvotes

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"Grandma, what's the secret to your fried chicken recipe?"

105 upvotes

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Having been condemned to the Pit of Vipers my greatest fears was dying slowly and painfully from a thousand venomous snake bites.

97 upvotes

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My wife says it's that time of the month again.

96 upvotes

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"Don't stick that q-tip so far into your ear or you might hurt yourself."

95 upvotes

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With one last pull, I finally got the massive glob of hair and soap free from my kids' bathroom drain.

94 upvotes

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[MAR22] If only I knew which beer was one too many.

92 upvotes

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I followed all the rituals, the pentagram, the bell book and candle, the chanting exactly as proscribed.

87 upvotes

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"We here at Polish Mike's Sausage Company take employee concerns and complaints about health, safety and wages very seriously, and in fact we have an open door policy," Linda, the HHR rep assured me.

86 upvotes

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As I opened the one hundred year old time capsule from under city hall, I was stunned to see a single envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting.

86 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"Congratulations Mrs. Nash, it's a... puppy?	105
"Grandma, what's the secret to your fried chicken recipe?"	105
Having been condemned to the Pit of Vipers my greatest fears was dying slowly and painfully from a thousand venomous snake bites.	97
My wife says it's that time of the month again.	96
"Don't stick that q-tip so far into your ear or you might hurt yourself."	95
With one last pull, I finally got the massive glob of hair and soap free from my kids' bathroom drain.	94
[MAR22] If only I knew which beer was one too many.	92
I followed all the rituals, the pentagram, the bell book and candle, the chanting exactly as proscribed.	87
"We here at Polish Mike's Sausage Company take employee concerns and complaints about health, safety and wages very seriously, and in fact we have an open door policy," Linda, the HHR rep assured me.	86
As I opened the one hundred year old time capsule from under city hall, I was stunned to see a single envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting.	86