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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I was fired from my job as a bus driver today. NSFW

205 upvotes • Tn_ThisNThat
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It wasn't a surprise to anyone the Klansman lost the triathlon.

204 upvotes • IronMongerVi
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Ugh, the boys in my basement are screaming again.

204 upvotes • Yeet_The_Cheese
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I cursed out the cultists who knocked on the door screaming about trying to "save" me so I don't "burn."

204 upvotes • GiantJawa
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Why was the Russian scientist's dog an alcoholic?

204 upvotes • thealiagator111
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Being the last person alive on the planet isn't that much more lonely than before the world ended.

203 upvotes • Logic007
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He reloaded a gun and pointed it at me.

203 upvotes • EandCheckmark
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i once had a nightmare about waterBoarding at Guantanamo Bay. i guess that was my first wet-dream

203 upvotes • wondererSkull
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I told my son not to pee in his bed.

203 upvotes • Thesaltyscarlet
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My friend has been very pessimistic since he quit drinking.

202 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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