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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

who says cats don't try to please their owners

146 upvotes • boredinthecosmos
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What do convicted fish drink?

146 upvotes • normelpersan
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My grandma has a wooden peg leg.

146 upvotes • czarcbas
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“Please tell me that demon in the red suit is not my lawyer!”

146 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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I'm not addicted to two sentence comedy.

146 upvotes • HunterSDeadguy
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The following joke is so funny that the US Government is jumping through all sorts of hoops to delete it from the internet.

145 upvotes • [deleted]
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What do you call a mermaid serial killer?

145 upvotes • May-be-Ictos
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I couldn't believe it when a sword wielding hand came out of the water and proclaim me King of the Britons.

145 upvotes • amnSor
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My friend tried to have sex with a cougar yesterday.

145 upvotes • cindybubbles
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As I sat there, detained, in a closed-off room, the police officer growled, ‘You’re facing the death penalty or a minimum sentence of life imprisonment; what are you smiling!?’

145 upvotes • Friendship12345
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